You Oughta Know
by Gnarly Like Woaaahx
Summary: Songfic&Oneshot. The truth behind Bankys loathing of Holden dating Alyssa.


_**Well I got kinda stuck with the Azrael's Girl squeal and the Chasing Amy story so I decided to make a Banky/Holden song fic. Inspired by how much Banky loathes Alyssa in the movie. **_

**Disclaimer: _Well it's been awhile since I last wrote one of these. Alrighty Kevin Smith holds all rights to Banky Edwards, Holden McNeil, and Alyssa Jones; Also Alanis Morissette owns the rights to her song 'You Oughta Know'. Basically I own shit. _**

**Bold is the song. **

Regular is them talking

_Italics are thoughts or actions…you'll be able to tell the difference. _

* * *

_SLAM! _How fucking dare she just flounce up into my happy life and take the most important thing in my life away from me! That fucking dyke! And how can he act all mushy towards her when he's got me!

**I want you to know, that I'm happy for you  
I wish nothing but the best for you both  
An older version of me  
Is she perverted like me  
Would she go down on you in a theatre  
Does she speak eloquently  
And would she have your baby  
I'm sure she'd make a really excellent mother**

Honestly! I know this is a bit childish of me…but I saw him first! Good going Bank now you sound like a five year old….and you're talking to yourself! As long as you don't answer yourself back you've still got some sanity left.

_Right me have sanity, that'll happen the day Holden and I get married as storm troopers by that stoner fuck._

……shit.

**  
Cause the love that you gave that we made wasn't able  
To make it enough for you to be open wide, no  
And every time you speak her name  
Does she know how you told me you'd hold me  
Until you died, till you died  
But you're still alive  
**

**And I'm here to remind you  
Of the mess you left when you went away  
It's not fair to deny me  
Of the cross I bear that you gave to me  
You, you, you oughta know**

It won't last, one day she'll dump his tired ass and then he'll be all mine….finally. One day I'll finally get what I want for once, no one will mess it up. I'll get my Holden back.

You seem very well, things look peaceful

**I'm not quite as well, I thought you should know  
Did you forget about me Mr. Duplicity  
I hate to bug you in the middle of dinner  
It was a slap in the face how quickly I was replaced  
Are you thinking of me when you fuck her  
**

_Fuck, why am I thinking like this…I'm not gay! or am I? shit this puts a whole other perspective on my life. I guess guys are alright….Holden's pretty sexy in the morning…_

**  
Cause the love that you gave that we made wasn't able  
To make it enough for you to be open wide, no  
And every time you speak her name  
Does she know how you told me you'd hold me  
Until you died, till you died  
But you're still alive**

GAH! Who said that! Surely that wasn't me talking back there…ew. I love chicks! Chicks are the sexiest thing I've seen in my sad life….yeah! But I don't feel right….oh my books! Nothing like a centerfold to take all that queerness outta ya! And by queer I mean weird….not the other thing….

And I'm here to remind you  
Of the mess you left when you went away  
It's not fair to deny me  
Of the cross I bear that you gave to me  
You, you, you oughta know

_Bitch please, your fooling no one. Face it babe you're a queen! You've turned to the purple side and you didn't even know it. Banky Edwards…fagman in the flesh! What'll Hooper say, or better yet….what'll Holden say when he finally realizes you lust for his sexy bod…imagine the face he'll make! _

Cause the joke that you laid on the bed that was me  
And I'm not gonna fade  
As soon as you close your eyes and you know it  
And every time I scratch my nails down someone else's back  
I hope you feel it...well can you feel it

Shut the fuck up you….other me! I do not like men, I do not like men, I do not like men, I do not like men, I do not like men……

Shit….I-I l-like m-m-men! GAH I said it! I can't believe I just sai- hey….that felt good.

And I'm here to remind you  
Of the mess you left when you went away  
It's not fair to deny me  
Of the cross I bear that you gave to me  
You, you, you oughta know

_Good honey, now go out there and claim your bitc- I mean go get your man! _

...yeah……YEAH I'M GONNA GO CLAIM MY MAN FROM THAT BITCH!

Erm….Banky……whaddya screaming about, I can here you from miles away.

_Oh lookit lover boys here in BOXERS! Time to raise the flag pool girls! _Ohshit…ehehe nothing Holden...

Oh yeah well I think that nothing is a pretty big something…

Oh no seriously its noting at all- mmm mmmm!

_Oh no he didn't just stick his tongue down your throat! WOOT! Someone's getting lucky and it ain't in Kentucky…Hahaha!_

WhatthefuckwasthatIhopeyoumeantthatcauseIlikedit!

Bank…..breathe and repeat…

Er….I liked it…

Me too….


End file.
